urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour cleanoutyour cleanoutyour 2006-03-31T19:29:58Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour:1291 2006-03-31T19:29:58Z 2006-03-31T19:29:58Z Annemarie - "The Living Model" i feel like the entire world had turned its back on me. the happiest songs make me even more upset. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour:1223 2006-03-30T22:26:52Z 2006-03-30T22:26:52Z i'm gross. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour:966 2006-03-30T00:10:49Z 2006-03-30T00:10:49Z <p align="center"><br><br><br><br>i want to be in control of having no control.<br><br><br><br> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour:653 2006-03-29T19:50:08Z 2006-03-29T19:50:08Z The Unicorns - "Les Os" <p align="center"><img src="http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/156/sad3jz.png"><br><a href="http://www.hiphopmusic.com/best_of_youtube/2006/03/leprechaun_sightings_in_mobile.html">http://www.hiphopmusic.com/best_of_youtube/2006/03/leprechaun_sightings_in_mobile.html</a><br><br><p align="left">i think that it one of the funniest things i have ever seen in my entire life. if you dont think thats funny than i dont know what is. but anyway, school was okay today it was just sort of like any other day i laughed so hard today over that leprechaun thing with candra in art it was so great hahaha. i just got home i didnt eat yet today i'm going to try to wait until dinner i think im getting a salad from wendys like i do every wednesday. oh yeah i think im going to call ink alternatives up the road and see what their rules are with peircings becuase i really dont feel like waiting at all to get my septum, i am such an impatient person. btw lets make plans for this weekend or spring break. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cleanoutyour:256 2006-03-29T02:05:09Z 2006-03-29T02:23:00Z mates of state - "drop and anchor" so this is my new livejournal. i can remember being in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade writing into my journal about how much i hated my life and how much i wish i was somewhere else and someone else. it's pretty pathetic that as of today, it's all exactly the same. my birthday is coming up soon i'm counting down the days, it's twenty-seven now. i remember my last birthday as if it were yesterday beucase of how terrible it was. i can remember my sister calling me from her cell phone hysterical and than telling me our new kitten died. it was raining all day and i needed to go to work for some odd reason, it was a birthday party i think at the art studio... and than when i came home, i wanted to go to the mall but for some reason i winded up at sports plus with 3 girls 2 whom werent invited there and 1 who i didnt even know. IT WAS TERRIBLE. i am so scared that this year is going to be the same. i have noone to celebrate with really i dont have any really steady friends accept lizz, we are really the best together. i have been trying to diet lately because i definately put on more than a few pounds and all my clothes are really uncomfortable so i'm trying to lose a bunch of weight before my birthday, so that my clothes fit comfortably. i'm really pretty miserable right now, i feel so disgusted in myself. i dont like it when my arms touch my body, my hands touch my face, my legs touch each other, i hate when my skin touches another part of my skin, i am literally disgusted in myself. i am tired of walking on eggshells... around myself, i just want to be happy. i tried to peirce my septum last night and i pushed the safety pin through my nose but the rings guage was too large to fit through, i should have known. i havent seen erika is so long she is always so busy with work and her other friends its really discouraging and upsetting to know that i am the major factor in what caused the distance in our friendship. i wish i was just a little bit more mature, and a little bit understanding at the time because things could be so different right now, i really miss her. i will never forget talking on the phone with her the very second we got home from school even though i was much more excited about it than she was. this is a little promise to myself: i will do whatever it takes to be happy this april 24th.<br><br>edit: ps i have tourettes.